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Guest Post; Forgiving Yourself and Moving Forward

April 12, 2017

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Have you ever made a mistake that drastically affected your life? We all make mistakes. There are even some that we commit over and over again. You maxed out your credit card for the nth time. You blamed yourself for anything that did not go your way. Regrets, guilt, failure, and disappointment are negative feelings associated with making mistakes.

What do you consider as a mistake? It is something you did that does not produce favorable results in your life. In my case, it was staying with a partner that I knew was not good for me. It took me ten long years to realize that I was making a mistake. And it even took me some time to forgive myself.

In not forgiving myself, it took me time to move forward and figure out what I should do. See the time being wasted with dwelling on a mistake? With this, we should learn how to forgive ourselves for us to get moving.

Realize the mistake

This is the first step for you to forgive yourself and move forward. If you do not know what you have done or still doing wrong, then you would not be able to stop it.  Be specific about the mistake you made. Is it overspending, or is it procrastinating? What did you do wrong to get a bad result?

Think of the situations that placed you in a position for you to make that mistake. By finding out “why” you committed such mistake, then that would help you to avoid doing the same in the future.

If you cannot figure out your mistake but you know that you are making one, write down the negative events in your life. Look for the reasons for these events to happen. Ask your participation in the cause of the negative situation. What would help even more is if you find patterns of your behaviour that led to the negative events?

Forgive or ask forgiveness from other people

If the mistake you have made involved other people and you have done them wrong, ask for forgiveness. If other people did you wrong, forgive them even if they did not ask for it. This is one way for you to move on. Without forgiveness, we have a tendency to hold a grudge against others. And this is a baggage that we carry and not them.

This is similar if we have done something wrong to other people. Until we ask for forgiveness, the guilt feeling will haunt us. The feeling can hinder us from correcting our mistake and moving on.

Forgive yourself

Now that you already know what you did wrong, and you already tried to mend relationships through forgiveness, it’s time to forgive yourself. Rethink your morals and values. This way, you can weed away behaviour and attitude that did not serve your morals and values.

Focus on the actions that would support your virtues in life. With this, you can realign your thinking to your future goals instead of dwelling on past mistakes. Focus on what you have learned in the situation.

Realize that the past is past

What happened in the past is done, and there’s nothing you can do about it. What you can do something about are the present and the future. Instead of sulking over a mistake in the past, correct it in the present and continue correcting it in the coming days.

Do not be too hard on yourself. If there is one person who will never leave you, it’s you. Believe that the greatest love is love for one’s self. Self-forgiveness will help you love yourself even more.

Making mistakes is a part of the learning process. Some mistakes may have more adverse effects than others but just like the saying, “what does not kill you can make you stronger,” realization, forgiveness, and self-love are the keys to moving forward with life. Always remember the things that make you happy and focus your energy on achieving that. Life is short and dwelling on mistakes can result to even more regrets.

 

 

Monica Morgan is a free-spirited woman having vast experience in article writing. She prefers using diverse writing styles to properly engage with a wide array of readers. She is also a contributor for https://hqessays.com/.

 

 

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1 Comment

  • Reply depatridge April 12, 2017 at 11:25 pm

    A very interesting piece. Forgiveness heals and helps one to bounce back. The lack of it brings on misery. I align with the author’s thoughts on the virtue.

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