I’m not trying to find myself, I’m trying hard to improve myself. I found myself and I found God a long time ago. I’ve nearly died numerous times (literally) and don’t really want to go through those experiences again (if I can help it). Out of that, I changed. I became darker, sadder and more prone to things locked away inside myself. My shrink is trying to help me change back into some semblance of what used to be. I told him I want to find the WONDER again. So,,,,these are some things he asked me to look at,,,,that you and me are going to share together:
1. What do I deeply enjoy doing? Answer: Creating, watching something or things grow and work and having the recognition or understanding that I’ve done something positive and right. I think this comes from the fact I’ve been involved with the life and times where destruction was prevalent,,,,so I want to do the opposite?
2. What qualities do I most admire in others? Answer: The ability to enjoy the small things. The ability to see the bright side of things no matter what. Calm, cool bearing no matter what the situation. Realistic happiness or positivity no matter what the situation.
3. What have been my happiest moments in life: 1. Getting married, staying married. 2. Coming home alive (lots of shitty mountaineering and business trips) 3. Seeing my kids born healthy and seeing them happy today
4. If I had unlimited time and resources, what would I choose to do? 1. Travel 2. Figure out how I could use my unlimited resources for specific good, like buying and installing mini-solar panels for schools or installing the water-for-the world systems. 3. Treasure Hunt
5. What are the 3 or four most important things to me? 1. Wife 2. Kids 3. Choice 4. My ability to make my own decisions
6. When I look at my work life, what activities do I consider of greatest worth? 1. Keeping my boss out of trouble, keep all the finances legal.
7. When I look at my personal life, what activities do I consider of greatest worth? 1. Being there for my kids. 2. Supporting my wife in her career (she moved 3 hours away from us for a work promotion) 3. Being more steady and happy for my kids
8. What can I do best that would be of worth to others? 1. Calm the fuck down sometimes, not try to control every situation. 2. Allow others to learn from my mistakes (via the blog).
Ok,,,,wow, some of that is deep and some not. I also write for my own blog, LiveFree2SailFast.com. I’m back on Sunday to work through a personal mission statement.