Love is always a good topic to talk about. We can share in so many categories when it comes to love. In life there are so many types of love and each one is so different in meaning. I have a very big heart and I can say that I love in so many different ways in my everyday life. Love is a complicated art to understand sometimes and it took me many, many years to understand the art of love.
Well, for many years ago I believed that love was just something between two persons like between two lovers.
I was never taught what love is but observed people in the society and in the media. It is easy to get confused since sex is everywhere today and one might get a wrong impression on what love is. It is easy to relate love to just being sex. I might have gotten a wrong picture based on what I saw around me and started to believe that love was only based on sex.
I think that it is important for parents to teach their children what love is since actions in an adult life often is based on what a person has experienced in the childhood.
I started to get a grasp on what love is when I got my first daughter. I felt an unconditional love and I realised that love was not only something that could happen between two lovers.
This made me curious to discover more about what love is and the more I found out I realised that the problem was due to the feelings I had for myself. I discovered that I did not love myself and therefor it was hard to love others in a different way than just sexual actions between two lovers. There are so many more things in a relationship than just sex but the sexual part was the easiest thing for me to show since I did not have to express the things that I was not able to.
This went on for years with my heart broken many times. When the relationships that I was in was about to develop I ran away since I was not able to take the next step. The relationships got empty since they were based on the wrong thing but it was the only thing that I was comfortable to express.
I was a pretty messed up person emotionally when I met my boyfriend. We started out as friends and we got many good conversations. The friendship developed into something more but I found it hard to express more than the sexual part with him as well. I wanted to ran away but he did not let me. Rather than just giving up on me he wanted to talk with me and asked me why I wanted to go away. I came back to him many times and ran away again and then came back to him again after having talked to him.
All these conversations have made me reflect on how I could be able to love myself. He taught me ways to start loving myself and showed me that I could show him that I loved him without any sexual actions.
I guess that I could never have been able to fall in love with him if I had not gone through this process. Today I am able to love myself and therefor I am also able to love my boyfriend, my daughters, my family and his family. Everything starts with ourselves since you will never be capable to love another person lover or family and friends without knowing how to love yourself.
I guess this was a very personal post but I chose to share it since I know that many out there are struggling with this. If you relate yourself to what I just wrote I want you to start with yourself and not try over and over again thinking that if you search long enough you will find true love eventually. You will never find it if you are not capable of loving yourself.